The Hypergamy Hoax
This theory of hypergamy…that women are hypergamous by nature, meaning they “marry up”, or continuously seek men who are “higher up the dominance hierarchy”; always looking to upgrade to higher value mates…is one of the dumbest ideas to emerge from the Red Pill community. It is as superfluous as the “survival of the fittest” idea, which, in a nutshell just states that what survives was able to survive, and what is able to survive, survives. We don’t need a book on that. It is self-evident. It’s like saying things on a table were placed there, and things placed on a table can be found on it.
Women seek the best possible husbands, who knew? But it gets even dumber than this. Hypergamy means that women seek high status men, and what high status means will differ from woman to woman. So, in other words, the theory is rendered completely meaningless. One woman sees financial standing as the criterion for high status, another woman values a man’s ability to write limericks. So what? You’ve learned nothing.
And of course, the same goes for men. The Red Pill theory is that men “marry down”, that they are fine with marrying women of lower status on the dominance hierarchy…but the dominance hierarchy — whatever that totally subjective construction is supposed to comprise — has nothing to do with the criteria by which men value women. The vast majority of men feel they have married up; in their minds, the woman they marry represents the pinnacle of what they value in a woman. You will barely find a man who does not say, has not said, or does not believe, that his wife is too good for him, and he doesn’t deserve her. That is nearly universal. Men prize their wives, to hell with your conceptual dominance hierarchy.
But here is the fatal flaw of the theory…it is hugely informed by Capitalistic thinking, whether anyone notices or not. What determines status on the dominance hierarchy revolves around materialistic definitions; usually fixating on wealth and power and social influence. And this is very MALE thinking — men compete with each other on these terms, and Red Pill theory imagines that women value in men what men admire; and that is just not the case. Hundred upon hundreds of millions of broke, unambitious, slacker men in this world have wives and girlfriends — and it is not because those women could not find more materially successful men…they just, for whatever reason, love those guys,
Our mothers were not hypergamous, were they? They either married who they loved, or who they were slated to marry, and for most of us Muslims, our parents stayed together. Your mother didn’t dump your dad for a richer man, probably, even though, she probably could have. When women seek divorce, the most common reasons are lack of commitment, infidelity, domestic abuse, substance abuse, and fighting — not upgrading. The theory of materialistic hypergamy is not actually apparent in reality — it is the way men think women behave, because it makes sense to men; and it is the way men think they would behave if they were women. But women do not think like men, do not behave like men, don’t make their decisions like men.
The truth is that what spouses value in one another goes deeper than marketplace logic can fathom, and very often cannot even be quantified at all. This theory is a non-starter, if you think about it for more than 5 minutes.
